Eulogies vs. words of remembrance — are they allowed?
A eulogy is not part of the Catholic funeral rites. However, there are times when words “spoken in remembrance” of the deceased are allowed. These are different from a eulogy in that a eulogy means to “speak well” of the person and is therefore, focused primarily on the deceased. In contrast, words spoken in remembrance focus more on the deceased person’s relationship with God. They are intended to express how the life of the deceased offered a good example of faith in God for those who remain.
To remain consistent with the ritual and prayerful nature of the funeral rites, any words of remembrance that are offered during the funeral must be written by a family member or friend and submitted to the pastor at least three days in advance for approval. These reflections should be brief, generally about 250 to 350 words, and if approved, they are to be read only by the priest or deacon. This helps preserve the liturgical focus of the funeral while still allowing a meaningful expression of remembrance within the Church’s prayer.
Outside of the funeral rites themselves, however, anyone is free to share stories or speak about the deceased, such as during the visitation outside of the Vigil prayer or at a luncheon. These settings allow for a more relaxed and informal sharing of memories, offering space for personal reflection and storytelling apart from the formal structure of the Church’s liturgy.