Comprehensive resources specifically for men, women, spouses, and parents can be found below.
RESOURCES FOR MEN:
- Catholic virtual “My House Group” for men
You can sign up to request access to the Tuesday and/or Friday meetings at https://centerforhealingkc.com/workshops/my-house-group - Catholic in Recovery virtual groups https://catholicinrecovery.com/find-a-meeting/
- SA groups Chicago is world famous for having the strongest SA recovery anywhere, and they have plenty of virtual meetings. That is good news because you will hear and learn from people who have years of sobriety. You can also choose to be mentored by someone there one-on-one (aka choosing a sponsor). SA (Sexaholics Anonymous) is based on the principles of Alcoholics Anonymous and uses a 12-step program of recovery to provide a solution to the problems of lust/sex/pornography addiction. Find the list of face-to-face and virtual meetings in Chicago here: https://chicagosa.org/meetings/. To learn more about SA, please visit https://www.sa.org. To find out about SA meetings in our area (both face-to-face and virtual), please call the confidential number at 309-210-2469 or e-mail [email protected]. If interested in finding out about meetings in Champaign-Urbana, please e-mail [email protected]. If interested in meetings in St. Louis, please call the confidential number 314-995-2687 or e-mail [email protected]. To see the listings of meetings in Illinois please visit https://www.sa.org/f2f/United-States-of-America/Illinois/. To see the listings of meetings in Missouri, please visit https://www.sa.org/f2f/United-States-of-America/Missouri/.
- Chris Ellman, MSW, LCSW, SATP, CSAT view bio and credentials here: https://centerforhealingkc.com/about/our-team#panel--10To set up a 10 minute phone consult to get to know the therapist before setting up a session, click on: https://centerforhealingkc.sessionshealth.com/
- Andrew Forbeck, MA, LPC, SATP view bio and credentials here:https://centerforhealingkc.com/about/our-team#panel--10To set up a 10 minute phone consult to get to know the therapist before setting up a session, click on: https://centerforhealingkc.sessionshealth.com/
- Joshua Kalman, Psy.D view bio and credentials here:https://find.catholictherapists.com/joshua-kalman-psydTo set up a 10 minute phone consult to get to know the therapist before setting up a session, click on https://saintjosephpsych.com/contact-directly-page to complete the Inquiry FormDr. Kalman also has a virtual Catholic men’s therapy group
- Mark Kolodziej, PhD, CCPA, ACTA view bio and credentials here:https://catholiccounselors.com/tele-counseling-services/our-counselors/To set up a 10-minute phone consult please call 403-701-2262Dr. Kolodziej also has a virtual men’s therapy group
- Helpful Websites:For youth/men under 21 Fortify https://www.joinfortify.com A mobile-based recovery program from Fight the New Drug. Youth-oriented and free to anyone under the age of 21. Also includes video education on pornography.For teens Fortify for Teens https://www.joinfortify.com/teens
For young adults Fight the New Drug https://fightthenewdrug.org provides individuals the opportunity to make an informed decision regarding pornography by raising awareness on its harmful effects using only science, facts, and personal stories.
- Helpful article for young adults:https://integrityrestored.com/how-porn-kills-relationships/
- Podcast and Blog on recovery from pornography and sexual addiction from a Catholic perspective:Integrity Restored Podcast https://integrityrestored.com/podcasts/ equips us with the knowledge and resources to live a pornography free life and to help others do the sameThe Catholic in Recovery Blog https://catholicinrecovery.com/blog/
- One Man’s Story:https://www.arlingtondiocese.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/pornography-addiction-testimony_mp.pdf
- Helpful Books for Men:
Integrity Restored: Helping Catholic Families Win the Battle Against Pornography by Dr. Peter Kleponis
The Porn Myth: Exposing the Reality Behind the Fantasy of Pornography by Matt Fradd
Delivered: True Stories of Men and Women Who Turned from Porn by Matt Fradd
Out of the Shadows by Patrick Carnes
In the Shadows of the Net by Patrick Carnes
Every Man’s Battle by Stephen Arterburn and Fred Stoeker
Healing the Wounds of Sexual Addiction by Mark Laaser
Help Her Heal by Carol Juergensen Sheets
- Canopy https://canopy.us/
- Covenant Eyes www.covvenanteyes.com
- Bark https://www.bark.us
*Please keep in mind that accountability software programs are not a cure for pornography or sexual addiction. They are a resource that can serve to keep someone from acting out while they do the work necessary to recover from their addiction.
RESOURCES FOR WOMEN:
Women are relationally stimulated and are drawn to the fantasy of a relationship. For example, some types of romance novels are in this category. Chemical reactions in the brain are triggered relationally rather than visually. Watch one woman’s story here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SPuLfRsCmxo
- Catholic in Recovery virtual groups https://catholicinrecovery.com/find-a-meeting/
- SA groups Chicago is world famous for having the strongest SA recovery anywhere, and they have plenty of virtual meetings. That is good news because you will hear and learn from people who have years of sobriety. You can also choose to be mentored by someone there one-on-one (aka choosing a sponsor). SA (Sexaholics Anonymous) is based on the principles of Alcoholics Anonymous and uses a 12-step program of recovery to provide a solution to the problems of lust/sex/pornography addiction. Find the list of face-to-face and virtual meetings in Chicago here: https://chicagosa.org/meetings/. To learn more about SA, please visit https://www.sa.org. To find out about SA meetings in our area (both face-to-face and virtual), please call the confidential number at 309-210-2469 or e-mail [email protected]. If interested in finding out about meetings in Champaign-Urbana, please e-mail [email protected]. If interested in meetings in St. Louis, please call the confidential number 314-995-2687 or e-mail [email protected]. To see the listings of meetings in Illinois please visit https://www.sa.org/f2f/United-States-of-America/Illinois/. To see the listings of meetings in Missouri, please visit https://www.sa.org/f2f/United-States-of-America/Missouri/. To learn more about how SA works, view this brochure https://tinyurl.com/hxmsdjs7 To view videos and podcasts that answer common questions about SA click here www.linktr.ee/womenswelcomepacket
- Cathy Durando, MA, PLPC view bio and credentials here: https://centerforhealingkc.com/about/our-team#panel--10To set up a 10 minute phone consult to get to know the therapist before setting up a session, click on: https://centerforhealingkc.sessionshealth.com/
- Lyndsay Hilton, MS, PLPC view bio and credentials here: https://centerforhealingkc.com/about/our-team#panel--10
To set up a 10 minute phone consult to get to know the therapist before setting up a session, click on: https://centerforhealingkc.sessionshealth.com/
- Helpful Websites:
For youth/women under 21 Fortify https://www.joinfortify.com A mobile-based recovery program from Fight the New Drug. Youth-oriented and free to anyone under the age of 21. Also includes video education on pornography.
For teens Fortify for Teens https://www.joinfortify.com/teens
For young adults Fight the New Drug
https://fightthenewdrug.org provides individuals the opportunity to make an informed decision regarding pornography by raising awareness on its harmful effects using only science, facts, and personal stories.
- Helpful article for young adults: https://integrityrestored.com/how-porn-kills-relationships/
- Podcast and Blog on Recovery from Porn and Sexual Addiction from a Catholic Perspective:
Integrity Restored Podcast https://integrityrestored.com/podcasts/ equips us with the knowledge and resources to live a pornography free life and to help others do the same
- The Catholic in Recovery Blog
- Helpful Books for Women:
Delivered: True Stories of Men and Women Who Turned from Porn by Matt Fradd
Integrity Restored: Helping Catholic Families Win the Battle Against Pornography by Dr. Peter Kleponis
The Porn Myth: Exposing the Reality Behind the Fantasy of Pornography by Matt Fradd
Out of the Shadows by Patrick Carnes
In the Shadows of the Net by Patrick Carnes
Healing the Wounds of Sexual Addiction by Mark Laaser
- Canopy https://canopy.us/
- Covenant Eyes www.covvenanteyes.com
- Bark https://www.bark.us
*Please keep in mind that accountability software programs are not a cure for pornography or sexual addiction. They are a resource that can serve to keep someone from acting out while they do the work necessary to recover from their addiction.
RESOURCES FOR SPOUSES:
What is betrayal (relationship) trauma and is there hope for healing?
Are you hurting because of your loved one’s pornography use or other sexual behavior? Betrayal trauma is a deep pain felt because of a violation of trust. Betrayal trauma can occur when you have discovered that someone you love is engaging in any secret sexual behaviors.
Symptoms of betrayal trauma may include difficulty sleeping, ruminating about the betrayal, hypervigilance, inability to focus, isolation, intense anger, low self-esteem, self-doubt, and poor body image.
Healing from betrayal trauma requires counseling, group/support, and spiritual direction which will equip you with a plan that includes honesty, validation, support, and tools to bring healing. Relationships damaged by unhealthy sexual behaviors, betrayal, or addiction can be healed and restored.
- S-Anon groups
Chicago is world famous for having the strongest Sexaholics Anonymous (SA) recovery anywhere, and they have plenty of virtual S-Anon meetings for spouses. That is good news because you will hear and learn from people who have experience, hope, and strength to share with you. You can also choose to be mentored by someone there one-on-one (aka choosing a sponsor).
S-Anon is based on the principles of Alcoholics Anonymous and uses a 12-step program of recovery for those who have been affected by someone else’s sexual behavior. S-Anon also provides special programs for teenagers: S-Ateen.
Find the list of virtual and face-to-face S-Anon meetings in Chicago here: https://sites.google.com/view/chicagos-anon/home/meetings
If you have any questions about S-Anon meetings in Chicago or would like more information, please reach out to 779-324-2324 for a confidential call, visit the S-Anon Chicago website at https://sites.google.com/view/chicagos-anon/home/ or e-mail [email protected].
To find any other meetings, please visit https://www.sanon.org/find-a-meeting. Currently, there are face-to-face S-Anon meetings in Bloomington, IL, Charleston, IL, and St. Louis, MO. To learn more about S-Anon, you may call 615-833-3152 or 800-210-8141 or visit https://www.sanon.org.
- Anna Jett, MS, LMFT view bio and credentials here: https://centerforhealingkc.com/about/our-team#panel--10
Anna also has a virtual group therapy group for betrayed spouses
(https://centerforhealingkc.com/workshops-and-groups/her-story-her-frame-group)
To set up a 10 minute phone consult to get to know the therapist before setting up a session, click on: https://centerforhealingkc.sessionshealth.com/
- Mark Kolodziej, PhD, CCPA, ACTA view bio and credentials here:
https://catholiccounselors.com/tele-counseling-services/our-counselors/
Mark also has a virtual group therapy group for betrayed spouses
(https://catholiccounselors.com/services/reconnected/)
To set up a 10-minute phone consult please call 403-701-2262
- Bloom for Catholic Women – provides healing for women that have been impacted by their husband's pornography use and/or addiction by providing therapeutic and spiritual online courses for women healing from the trauma of their husband's pornography use. Bloom has partnered with Integrity Restored to help women gain an understanding of their husband's addiction, the resulting trauma, and provide tools and education that will guide these women to a path of healing and recovery from a truly Catholic perspective. Meet the team of a priest, a nun, and two therapists here:
https://www.bloomforcatholicwomen.com/p/about-us - Helpful Books for Betrayed Spouses:
Restoring Trust: A Couple’s Guide To Getting Past Porn by Peter Kleponis
Shattered Vows by Debra Laaser
Your Sexually Addicted Spouse by Barbara Steffens and Marsha Means
Restored: True Stories of Love and Trust After Porn by Matt and Cameron Fradd - Helpful Article and Books for Couples:
Article: https://www.foryourmarriage.org/pornographys-effects-on-marriage-and-hope-for-married-couples/
Seven Desires of Every Heart by Mark and Deborah Laaser
Called to Love by Jose Granados and Carl Anderson
Help Her Heal by Carol Juergensen Sheets - Podcast and Blog from a Catholic perspective
Integrity Restored https://integrityrestored.com/podcasts/ equips us with the knowledge and resources to live a pornography free life and to help others do the same
The Catholic in Recovery Blog https://catholicinrecovery.com/blog/
RESOURCES FOR PARENTS
Pornography is affecting every family. Even with all the protections we as parents try to provide, it is likely our kids will be exposed to porn. The average age of first exposure to porn is 8 to 10 years old. When girls internalize the harmful images in porn, they are likely to have issues with self-esteem, body image, and relationships, and 58% of girls have seen porn by age 12. The resources below will help your children learn about healthy intimacy and understand healthy sexuality as well as protect them from the damage that pornography can do to their brain and to their relationships.
- Cody Hummer, LMSW view bio and credentials here:
https://centerforhealingkc.com/about/our-team#panel--10
To set up a 10 minute phone consult to get to know the therapist before setting up a session, click on: https://centerforhealingkc.clientsecure.me/ - Dr. Trish Leigh, Cognitive Neuroscientist view bio and credentials here:
https://drtrishleigh.com/about-us/
- Helpful Books:
Good Pictures Bad Pictures Jr.: A Simple Plan to Protect Young Minds (for ages 3-6) by Kristen A. Jenson, MA
Good Pictures, Bad Pictures: Porn-Proofing Today’s Young Kids (for ages 7-12) by Kristen A. Jenson and Gail Poyner
Beyond the Birds and the Bees by Greg and Lisa Popcak
Wonderfully Made Babies: A Catholic Perspective on How and Why God Makes Babies (for ages 9 and up) by Ellen Giangiordano
Start Talking to Your Kids about Sex: A Practical Guide for Catholics by Julia Sadusky
Talking with Your Teen about Sex: A Practical Guide for Catholics by Julia Sadusky
Plunging Pornography by D. J. Hueneman (for parents to give to their teens before discussing it)
The Tech Exit: A Practical Guide to Freeing Kids and Teens from Smartphones by Clare Morell
Preparing Your Son for Every Man’s Battle – Stephen Arterbum and Fred Stoeker - Helpful Smart Phone Alternatives:
- A Technology Guide for Parents(link to https://www.eppc.org/parentsguide/) lists and describes 5 different Smart Phone alternatives (The Light phone, Sunbeam Wireless F1 Phone, Tick-Talk Phone Watch, GizmoWatch2, The Gabb Phone, and the Pinwheel Phone) while including a comparison chart reflecting prices, features, and age ranges.
- Helpful Online Resources:
- A Technology Guide for Parents - this downloadable guide empowers parents with knowledge and tools to help them navigate the challenges of parenting in today’s digital age, including how to have conversations about tech, suggestions on boundaries to put in place, and resources such as parental controls and other protective software and apps as well as alternative tech options.
- For youth under 21 Fortify https://www.joinfortify.com A mobile-based recovery program from Fight the New Drug. Youth-oriented and free to anyone under the age of 21. Also includes video education on pornography.
- For teens Fortify for Teens https://www.joinfortify.com/teens
- Defend Young Minds (DYM) – tools, articles, and guides to help raise empowered, resilient, screen-smart kids. This website seeks to help parents “porn-proof” their kids before they come across highly addictive and easily accessible internet pornography, and offers guidance for families whose children have already been hurt by pornography. On the front lines of bringing knowledge to families, DYM has an e-mail distribution list that you can join. Here is a sample of what DYM covers:
- How Porn Harms Girls
- How to Talk to Kids about Pornography and 5 Things Teens Wish Their Parents Knew About Porn
- Kids Wanting Their Parents to Address Porn
- Crime Expert Reveals 7 Tech Tips Every Parent Should Know
- Guide to Parents to Help a Child Exposed to or Viewing Porn
- Teaching Kids Digital Safety
- Integrity Restored this section of the website is dedicated to helping parents protect their children from pornography and helping them navigate a culture imbued with pornography.
- Integrity Restored Podcast from a Catholic perspective equips us with the knowledge and resources to live a porn free life and to help others do the same
- Protect Young Eyes describes parental controls for gaming systems, smartphones, tablets and smart TVs
- How to Protect Your Kids From Internet Porn
- Healthy Screen Habits empowers families to create healthy habits for screen use and to maintain technology as a tool – never as a replacement – for human connection.
- Successful Sex Talk with Your Kids
https://www.thesextalk.com - Talking to Your Kids and Teenagers About Pornography
https://www.lincolndiocese.org/evangelization/protection/tools-for-parents#filtering - Protecting Your Children
https://www.lincolndiocese.org/evangelization/protection/tools-for-parents#filtering - Parenting Videos and Blogs Related to Children and Pornography
- Porn Harms link for parents
- Common Sense Media offers parents ratings and reviews on movies, books, games, podcasts, etc.
- See A Technology Guide for Parents listed above for a comprehensive description of resources such as parental controls and other protective software and apps as well as alternative tech options.
*Please keep in mind that accountability software programs are not a cure for pornography or sexual addiction. They are a resource that can serve to keep someone from acting out while they do the work necessary to recover from their addiction.