My dear brothers and sisters in Christ,

As we approach the end of November, the month during which we pray for eternal rest for the souls of the faithful departed in Purgatory, we conclude our reflections on the Order of Christian Funerals. As noted in my previous column in Catholic Times, there are three parts for the Christian Funeral Rites: 1) the Vigil for the Deceased; 2) the Funeral Liturgy, which may be a Funeral Mass or a Funeral Liturgy outside Mass; and 3) the Rite of Committal. All three Stations of the Funeral Rites are intricately connected to each other and together form the whole Order of Christian Funerals.

Over the past several months I have been consulting with our Presbyteral Council and Diocesan Pastoral Council about how to address some irregular practices that have crept into local funeral services. One of these liturgical anomalies is the practice of having a visitation in the church immediately preceding the Funeral Mass. Over the next few months, we will be implementing policies and procedures whereby visitation will not be permitted in church on the day of the funeral liturgy. The vigil, by definition, is the night before, so the vigil prayers will be prayed then by the priest or deacon even if there is no public visitation. In such cases, it would be fitting at least for the immediate family members to join the priest or deacon in the vigil prayers.

Another problematic area is with eulogies. Many people may be surprised to learn that a eulogy is not permitted within any of the funeral rites celebrated either in a church or in another suitable place by a minister, family member, or friend. The word “eulogy” in Greek literally means “good word,” thus a eulogy in the context of a funeral is speech or writing praising a person who has recently died. The eulogy is not to be confused with “speaking in remembrance of the one who died,” which the Order of Christian Funerals permits in certain circumstances. What’s the difference?

To speak in remembrance of the deceased is to speak about the faith-life of the one who died and to give praise to God. A eulogy makes the person being praised the main focus of attention. The homily and the words of remembrance have God as the primary focus. In this regard, reference may be made to how the deceased person put his or her Christian faith into practice, which provides a good example for others to follow and gives hope for an eternal reward in Heaven.

Unfortunately, many priests have had unpleasant experiences of people speaking at the end of a Funeral Mass and saying something very inappropriate. Even if the remarks are suitable words of remembrance, family members are often overcome with grief and have a hard time getting through their remarks. To avoid either of these difficult situations, words of remembrance must be submitted for approval to the pastor of the parish at which the funeral rites are to take place at least three days prior to the funeral. Only the priest or deacon will then read the words of remembrance at any of the three stations of the funeral rites, namely, the Vigil, the Funeral Mass or Liturgy, or the Rite of Committal at the cemetery. If deemed appropriate by the family, words of remembrance or even a eulogy may be given by someone other than the priest or deacon in other gatherings, such as at the meal following the committal service. This should not, however, immediately precede or follow any of the Christian funeral rites.

Although the Catholic Church does not prohibit cremation unless it was chosen for reasons contrary to Christian doctrine, such as denial of the resurrection of the body, the Church still earnestly recommends that the pious custom of burying the bodies of the deceased be observed. When cremation does take place, however, all of the cremated remains of the deceased person’s body shall be interred following the Rite of Committal. At no time and in no way shall the cremated remains be divided, separated, or interred in more than one place. Thus, the following practices are not permitted: scattering ashes on bodies of water, from the air, or on the ground; sending cremated remains of the body into space; keeping cremated remains in the home of a friend or relative of the deceased; dividing the cremated remains among several relatives or friends; and putting the cremated remains into jewelry and the like. Aside from the issue of the respect due to cremated remains, a number of practical problems arise with such practices:  urns or vessels placed in homes could be stolen or damaged; the purpose of the urn could be forgotten by heirs of the original holder and the urn and contents could be sold at a garage or yard sale; cremated remains could be stored in an unsuitable place like an attic, basement storeroom, garage, or storage unit.  

Since the Rite of Committal is an essential component of Catholic Funeral Rites, interment of cremated remains should ordinarily take place within 30 days following the funeral rites.

Recognizing that not everyone is familiar with the requirements for a proper Catholic funeral, we will be providing catechesis on the Order of Christian Funerals in the months ahead. Since family members of the deceased often contact the funeral director before calling the church, we will also be having meetings with local funeral directors throughout our diocese so that they can tell the relatives of the deceased what is or is not permitted if they wish to have a Catholic funeral for the deceased.

The Catholic Church’s norms for Christian Funerals are not meant to place undue restrictions or burdens on people but are intended to assure that the funeral rituals are conducted with dignity and in a manner that reflects our Christian beliefs regarding death and eternal life.

May God give us this grace. Amen.