If you lose your wedding ring, do you need to have the new one blessed?  

Rachel in Jacksonville

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I love this question! It is a special moment during the Order of Celebrating Matrimony when the priest blesses the rings: “May the Lord bless these rings which you give to each other as a sign of love and fidelity. R/ Amen.”This is right after the couple have exchanged their consent, so they are now married and so the very first thing they do as a newly married husband or wife is to give the other a ring: “N., receive this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.” 

Notice that the ring is a sign of the love and fidelity of the person who givesit. I think we often think of the ring as a symbol of one’s own faithfulness and commitment to one’s spouse — and that is great too — but the meaning the Church gives to that symbol is a gift that tells your spouse, “I will love and honor you as long as you shall live.” 

So, onto the question. Must you and can you bless a new ring if you’ve lost the old one or, I might add, replaced it for any number of reasons?  The short answer is yes, you can. The longer answer is I very much think you ought to!  

The Church does not foresee a couple notgiving rings at their wedding, though additional symbols can be added to it (such as the arras, often practiced in Hispanic cultures). It seems to me that if marriage is, in many ways, a promise to give yourself to your spouse and receive them fully in return, the ring becomes a very important symbol simply in itself being a gift that is given and received.  

So, how does one do this?  A priest or bishop could simply make the sign of the cross over the new ring and bestow God’s blessing in his own words: Something like: “May God bless this ring and the love that it signifies. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. R/ Amen.”Given that this very simple form is perfectly legitimate, it seems that the priest could instead incorporate some of the language from the Order of Matrimony too, even inviting the person to renew their commitment with the same words they spoke at their wedding: “N. Receive this ring … .” 

With that line of thought, we come to an even more beautiful, and I think powerful, way of engaging in the unfortunate situation of a lost wedding ring: the couple taking the opportunity to have their whole marriage blessed, which is something the Church recommends on significant anniversaries but can be done at any time. Our Cathedral has a Mass that includes this blessing for those married 50 years or more, usually in September. Within that blessing of the whole marriage, the Church provides for the situation where the couple renews their exchange of rings: “Lord, bless and consecrate the love which N. and N. have for one another. May these rings be a symbol of their true faith in each other and of the grace of the sacrament. We ask this through Christ our Lord. R/ Amen.”

Then, to specifically bless the rings: “Lord, bless these rings which we bless in your name. Grant that those who wear them may always have a deep faith in each other. May they continue to enjoy your peace and goodwill and live together in love. We ask this through Christ our Lord. R/ Amen.”

One last thought. The only time Jesus talks about a ring is in His parable of the Prodigal Son:

“… while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion and ran and embraced him and kissed him. And the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ But the father said to his servants, ‘Bring quickly the best robe, and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet. And bring the fattened calf and kill it and let us eat and celebrate. For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found.’ And they began to celebrate” [Luke 15:20-24]. 

Here, the ring is a sign of the father’s authority being restored to the son. Notice, though, that it is precisely in the context of the son losingthe ring and his dignity and authority in the household, that makes this gift so special. I think this is why the Church places the blessing of a new wedding ring in the context of an entire renewal and blessing of the marriage! The ring is not just jewelry but a symbol of gift, of identity, and of relationship. So, it makes sense not just to swap another one in without thinking much about it, but to do so in such a way that the blessing and grace and fullness of what the ring symbolizes is also renewed! 

Father Dominic Rankin is Master of Ceremonies and priest secretary for Bishop Thomas John Paprocki, is Promoter of Vocations for the Diocese of Springfield in Illinois and has a license in Theology of Marriage and Family from the John Paul II Institute in Rome.