How do we best demonstrate the spiritual work of mercy, particularly in the workplace, in admonishing someone who takes the Lord’s name in vain? Specifically, using Jesus’ name (first or full name) as a curse word. Is there a tactful way of doing this without the legitimate concern of losing my job as the primary breadwinner for my family? I know silence is not acceptable either. Help!

• Anonymous in the diocese

In our world today, it is a challenge for a person of faith who desires to follow God’s call to be mindful of our actions to experience others so flagrantly misusing Our Lord’s name as a curse rather than reserving it for blessing. It is very admirable that you would like to engage in that spiritual work of mercy of admonishing sinners. However, as you have alluded to in your question, there is certainly concern regarding the potential consequences of a good intention taken badly.

With regard to the question of admonishing sinners, there are two basic principles which must be kept in mind: prudence and one’s own proximity to the situation and the person. Proximity to the situation would include how close you personally are to the moment when a person has taken the Lord’s name in vain as well as how close you are to the person. For example, correcting a coworker you see on a daily basis who uses the Lord’s name in vain in your presence would be more prudent than correcting someone who has used the Lord’s name in vain in a conversation in which you were not involved. This does mean that there is a lot of gray area in which we have to be willing to discern a prudential judgment.

There very well may be situations where a direct admonishment would not be effective or could even be harmful for another person’s own spiritual growth and conversion. We must recognize that all of us have been given the gift of free will. This itself is a gift from God because we are loved so much that we are given the choice to freely love back. This will ultimately mean that, as people who suffer a fallen nature, some will choose to go against God’s will. We cannot change someone else’s free will choice. If we try, we will usually fail to change anyone’s choices, and we run the risk of an adverse reaction from that person. The works of mercy are ultimately for the sake of the salvation of souls. If we come off as overly confrontational in attempting to do works of mercy, we run the risk of chasing off someone who is not receptive to being confronted.

Where does this leave us, then, if we have a concern about the use of Our Lord’s name in vain? In the workplace, all of us do have a right to edifying and civilized speech. Therefore, it is not out of the realm of possibility to ask a coworker who engages in taking the Lord’s name in vain, indeed one who engages in any vulgar speech, to avoid using that sort of speech around you. Some may scoff at the request, but you have at least communicated your expectations for speech in the workplace. If this is the case or if for some other reason others at your workplace continue to use this sort of language, you can also take those moments as an opportunity to engage in another spiritual work of mercy: praying for the living and the dead! In this case, you are praying for the former rather than the latter. Use these moments as an opportunity to pray for these coworkers!

Above all, if   you intend to have a conversation with another person to correct them on the use of their language, never forget Jesus’ words about admonishing sinners: “‘If your brother sins [against you], go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have won over your brother.  If he does not listen, take one or two others along with you … if he refuses to listen to them, tell the church” (Mt 18:15-17a).

Father Alex McCullough is parochial vicar at Christ the King Parish in Springfield.