The next time you cry, think about these 10 things
By FATHER ALOYSIUS OKEECHUKWU NDEANAEFO, M.Div., D.Min., PhD.
Special to Catholic Times

In the Holy Scripture, we learned about the tears of Jesus Christ and his Blessed Mother the Virgin Mary. Tears, though often seen as symbols of fragility, contain within them the quiet pulse of strength. For the Catholic believer, tears are not merely emotional reactions but sacred expressions of the soul’s journey. The rhythm of human tears carries echoes of Christ’s suffering, the Blessed Virgin’s sorrow, the saints’ trials, and the eternal promise of consolation.

1. Tears: a sacred gift of the human person

The Catechism of the Catholic Church emphasizes that the human person is made in the image and likeness of God (CCC 1700). Emotions, including sorrow and compassion, are integral to that image. When we cry, especially in moments of deep emotion or prayer, we embody Christ’s own humanity — He who wept at the tomb of Lazarus (John 11:35) and over the city of Jerusalem (Luke 19:41).

In Catholic spirituality, tears are often seen as a gift — “the gift of tears” — given by the Holy Spirit to purify the soul, awaken compassion, and deepen prayer. The rhythm of our tears, flowing through moments of suffering and grace, aligns with divine healing and the unfolding of God’s will in our lives.

2. Emotional tears: instruments of grace and healing

Scientific studies show emotional tears contain stress hormones and natural painkillers —evidence that crying facilitates healing. But the Catholic perspective goes deeper: tears are sacramental in nature. While not one of the seven formal sacraments, they act as visible signs of invisible grace.

St. Augustine, in his Confessions, recalls how the persistent tears of his mother, St. Monica, eventually led to his conversion. “Her tears were like a constant rain before Your eyes, O Lord,” he wrote. In every tear shed for love, repentance, or longing, there lies strength because the soul that cries is reaching for God.

3. Childhood tears and the heart of the Father

Jesus’ teaching affirms the value of children and their transparent emotions: “Unless you become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 18:3). A child’s tears are unfiltered. They express need, longing, or pain without calculation.

When we allow children to cry and respond with love rather than shame, we mirror the love of our Heavenly Father, who hears every cry and holds every sorrow. In childhood, tears become a rhythm of trust, and through them, children experience the first lessons in divine compassion.

4. Tears of the suffering: Christ in the sick and wounded

Hospital rooms and hospice beds are holy ground. For those who endure chronic pain, terminal illness, or profound loss, tears become a daily rhythm. But in Catholic teaching, suffering is never meaningless. When offered to God, suffering unites us with Christ crucified: “Now I rejoice in my sufferings for your sake … and in my flesh I am filling up what is lacking in Christ’s afflictions” (Colossians 1:24).

The Church encourages the faithful to see suffering as a participation in the redemptive work of Christ. Tears shed in sickness, though silent, proclaim that the soul clings to hope. In every hospital corridor where tears fall, Christ walks.

5. Tears of repentance: a fountain of mercy

The desert fathers often spoke of the “gift of tears” as the highest form of prayer. These are not tears of self-pity but tears of repentance — a movement of the heart toward God. In Luke 7:38, a sinful woman washes Jesus’ feet with her tears and dries them with her hair. Her act is one of humility, sorrow, and love, and Jesus responds, “Your sins are forgiven.”

The sacrament of reconciliation is a sacred place where such tears flow freely. The penitent soul, moved by contrition, often weeps before the mercy of God. These tears are strong — not because they deny sin — but because they face it and turn toward grace.

6. Shared tears: the Church as a compassionate body

St. Paul urges us to “weep with those who weep” (Romans 12:15). In Catholic life, mourning is never solitary. We gather at funerals not only to say goodbye but to cry together — to affirm that the pain of one is shared by all.

From the Rosary’s Sorrowful Mysteries to the Stations of the Cross, Catholicism is rich with images of shared sorrow. The Blessed Virgin Mary, the Mater Dolorosa, stands at the foot of the cross with tears streaming down her cheeks. She invites us into that sacred solidarity: to cry with the grieving, to sit with the lonely, to be present in suffering.

7. Spiritual strength in vulnerability

Contemporary culture often treats tears as weakness, especially for men. But Jesus — the ultimate model of manhood and divine love — wept. Catholic men and women alike are called to emotional authenticity. Saints did not become holy by suppressing their pain but by surrendering it to God.

St. Thérèse of Lisieux, the “Little Flower,” cried often — sometimes in frustration, sometimes in joy, often in prayer. Her tears did not diminish her strength; they revealed a trust so deep that even weakness became a bridge to God. Emotional strength lies not in stoicism but in surrender to divine love.

8. The liturgy of tears: when prayer becomes weeping

Sometimes, tears flow during Mass, during eucharistic adoration, or while praying the Rosary. This is not uncommon. In these moments, the soul is overwhelmed by the presence of God. These are moments when the human and the divine meet, and our tears become incense.

The Church fathers believed that weeping in prayer could be a form of purification. St. Ignatius of Loyola even asked for the grace of tears during his spiritual exercises. In Catholic worship, tears are not interruptions — they are liturgical. They belong at the altar of the heart.

9. Mary, Mother of Sorrows: our model in grief

No one wept more purely or more painfully than the Blessed Virgin Mary. From Simeon’s prophecy that a sword would pierce her soul (Luke 2:35) to the silent agony at Calvary, Mary’s tears sanctify every mother’s cry, every family’s loss, every heartbreak.

The devotion to Our Lady of Sorrows invites Catholics to meditate on her seven sorrows — and in doing so, to unite their tears with hers. Mary’s strength was not in denying pain but in embracing it with faith. She wept — and still believed.

10. The promise of wiped tears: eternal consolation

At the heart of Catholic eschatology is hope: the promise that one day, all tears will be wiped away: “He will wipe every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death or mourning, wailing or pain” (Revelation 21:4).

This is the final rhythm: the promise that the tears we shed now will be gathered by God, not forgotten. Every cry has been heard. Every sorrow redeemed. Every loss will one day be restored in Christ.

Conclusion: the strength to weep, the strength to believe

In Catholic understanding, the rhythm of human tears is a path to holiness. They purify, connect, heal, and sanctify. Tears are not signs of weakness but witnesses to our deepest truths, offered to God in trust, shaped into prayer, and redeemed in love.

Let us weep as Christ wept, pray as Mary prayed, and believe as the saints believed that in every tear, God is near, and through every sorrow, He carries us toward resurrection.

• Father Aloysius Okechukwu Ndeanaefo M.Div., D.Min., PhD. is pastor of St. Mary Parish in Paris.