Hey, Father! When we pray for the conversion of someone who is doing wrong, we are praying that he or she changes their actions? If God uses our prayers/faith to help make that happen, then how do we rectify that with the fact we have total free will? It seems like God is directly acting to change that person’s behavior because of our prayers. Or another example: If I pray that a friend gets a job and he gets the job, it seems like God used my prayers to ensure the hiring manager pick him. But if that’s the case, it seems like that hiring manager then didn’t have total free will because God influenced the decision. I suppose this is a question of the relationship between free will and prayers.  

– Justin in Alton

You ask a question that is as old as human life on Earth, but any idea of “total free will” begins with our attempts to get something we want from our parents. As we grow up, we confuse our wants with our freedom to get them fulfilled. Real freedom of will is the freedom to choose what allows us to be ourself. Not everything we want helps us to be truly ourself. For instance, drugs or porn are substitutions for being truly free to be yourself with others. 

Our idea of prayer is often just asking for what we want, and then we confuse God with a parent who may or may not give it to us. But the Bible teaches that all God’s promises are always a “yes” to us in Christ, so that we are able to respond “Amen” in Him (2 Corinthians 1:20). Of course, “Amen” is Hebrew for “Let it be so.” God who created us with the freedom to choose what will fulfill us, is also the God who sent Jesus to show us how to live in freedom. In fact, we use one of His prayers, the Our Father, frequently. 

Prayer is a heart-to-heart conversation with God, just as Jesus shows us when He prays often in the Gospels. In our heart-to-heart conversation, Jesus told us to ask for anything we want, and it will be given to us. We mistakenly think that means we should just get what we want. No, we will receive what is the deepest part of what we are asking, that which make us more truly ourself before God and with others. Praying for someone to be converted from destructive behaviors is praying for that person to find fulfillment in relationship with himself, God, and others. It is praying with the heart and mind of Christ.

If converted, would God have directly acted to change that person’s behavior because of our prayers? That depends on what you mean by direct action. St. Augustine, Pope Leo’s mentor, taught that our prayers do not change God’s mind but do change us to receive all that God wants to give us. For this purpose, the Spirit prays in us. “The Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans” (Romans 8:26-27). The Holy Spirit understands our needs and communicates them to God on our behalf, especially during times of uncertainty or weakness. We call this being in communion with God in prayer, not cause and effect like a nuclear blast.

Being in communion with someone is what marriage is all about. Would you say a couple did not have free will because each had been praying for the person they would marry for years before they ever met? There is a function in the universe called contingency. It means things do not have to be the way they are and will change to be different. God works within the contingence of the universe by working in communion with our freedom of will.

Father Richard Chiola is pastor emeritus for St. Francis Xavier Cabrini in Springfield and holds a doctorate in historical theology, a master’s of divinity, a master’s in developmental counseling, and formerly is a licensed professional counselor, a national certified counselor, and a certified sex addiction therapist.