Will there be any memories of your time on earth when you are in heaven, good or bad? I would think you would have memories because of relationships and those people being in heaven with you, but then what about bad memories?

Rachel in Springfield

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It is certainly logical for us to ponder what life in heaven may be like. At the same time, we should from the very outset realize that almost all of the details of that existence would be purely speculation. This is due to the fact that God has not revealed the specific details of heaven to us while we are alive in this world. It is also due to the fact that while on this earth, we do not possess the ability to fully grasp the fullness of what heaven will be like; it is beyond us.

We have an advocate in the Gospels who speaks on our behalf, St. Thomas. In St. John’s Gospel (John 14: 1-6) as Jesus is revealing that there are many dwelling places which He is preparing for His faithful, St. Thomas, almost in an interrupting fashion demands, “Master, we don’t know where you are going, how can we know the way?” Jesus does not pretend to give St. Thomas the details of heaven or all that will happen to him on the way there. Instead, He calls him into deeper union with Him, telling Thomas that He Himself is the way, the truth, and the life, that He Himself is sufficient and all that St. Thomas need be concerned with.

That being said, what has been revealed about the heavenly kingdom is that we will share both a bodily resurrection and be brought into God’s own life. That reveals a dynamic of heaven that will be both familiar and completely new. We do not know what our glorified body will be like. Jesus’ resurrected body was both familiar and dissimilar to what the Apostles had seen just days before. Similarly, while there will be a communion of saints and a manner in which we will relate to those there with us, there will also be a newness to our interaction with them that is unlike what we experience now on this earth.

With regard to memories, perhaps it might be best to remember that our focus will be on being completely caught up in the perfect love of God’s own life, sharing it with others there, certainly; but not focused on that primarily. With regard to negative memories, it is important to recall the reality of the purification which we will likely receive before the perfection of heaven. And in this, the notion of Purgatory is not a negative one, but a necessary one, for which we will long to be made whole. We will want to be set free from anything that is not of God and will indeed need to leave all of those things aside before coming into heaven. I can only imagine then that the bad experiences and memories of others whom we have hurt or have hurt us, will have to “be left at the door.” We do not know the details of this for sure, but I can imagine having to be forgiven and accept forgiveness before being able to take in the glories of heaven.  

Remember, “Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor has it even so much as dawned on man, as to what God has prepared for those who love Him” (1 Corinthians 2:9).  I can then say, in jest, if this answer has been helpful and correct, we can both delight in it, and if it was way off, then we will have moved on to greater things!

Father Peter Harman is pastor of St. Anthony of Padua in Effingham and holds a Doctorate in Moral Theology from the Catholic University of America.